20180112-0116-Stuff

Dear Lawd Gawd,

Please kill me now! I tried recording my singing voice with my playing piano, and I sounded terrible! I kept deleting my videos due to poor execution of performance! I’m so disappointed!

Once again, I’ll just try one semester and quit. And after five years is over at the other gig, I’ll quit there too! I give up and I seriously believe no one is being honest and sparing me the rod! WTF!

I feel like there’s something wrong with my singing as if I’m not breathing correctly, as if my mouth is wired shut, as if I have asthma and a stroke! I’m not feeling the fresh breath of air that comes with the feeling of accomplishment.

That’s why I don’t care if stuff just past me by. It’s not worth the effort of practicing to perfection when I can’t hear myself or others well due to some hearing loss. I’m done. I can’t play the piano well too.

And tomorrow at nine in the morning, I have a phone interview which won’t go well despite trying my best. I don’t interview well because it’s not me to be comfortable exposing whatever skills I don’t really have and talent that doesn’t matter.

Check out my YouTube videos and judge for yourself. I find that I’ve been forcing myself to do stuff that’s all lies! I’m still being forced to do stuff against my freewill, which doesn’t care and don’t care to do anything.

Never mind. Hiss.

Evil Kitty.

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