Dear diary,

Today is freezing cold. The rain stopped but we’re staying indoors instead of attending noontime mass. Yesterday, the thermostat wouldn’t work due to its attachment to the wall – it’s loose and the way to get it to work is to tilt the unit upward on the right to ‘level’ the mercury and then switch from off to heater. Voila!

I awoke around 0600 or so after receiving the email from an ‘operational manager’ who emailed me to dead links. And after the third attempt, she shared the .mp3 files via Dropbox. I was able to go through ALL ‘movements’ to the BMV 232. I have to learn to breath and control my singing. Though I can somewhat hit the notes, the resonance, timbre, and pitch are still off. WTF did I get myself into this time?

But, the audio in TEMPO and sung by a professional help program my brain as I followed and sang along. Now my brain is repeating certain lines over and over and over and over. That’s how easily the brain can be programmed. So I’m hoping that the professionals sitting behind us will help lead as far and starting the movement on the downbeats.

I can sing but I get lost. I can see my brain is NOT keeping up as if I’m staring at the measure and wondering WTF does this sound like and where am I? I noticed that I have to carefully follow the tempo – to the beat. And because I can read notes, I can’t sing it. Weird, huh?

I like the slow movements, Qui tollis, Et incarnatus est, Crucifixus, Pleni sunt coeli, Osanna, and Dona nobix pacem, but I like Confiteor the best because of it walking beat. I can barely keep up with the Adagio and Vivace! I like doing the scales and have been hitting those pretty well! Yay! But I still suck. One semester is enough for me but my parents insist that I stay. Sheesh. It’s only a volunteer gig.

I’m practicing really hard. I don’t wanna disappoint Maestro whoever, mess up the others with my noobs, or waste my time on something I can’t PERFECT! But it’s a matter of practice and technique. Hmm. Maybe I can go back to school and learn musicianship. Nah! I don’t like tests. My brain can’t retain stuff. That’s why I have to repeat stuff until I get it.

We received our recent ‘notes’ by Maestro whoever via email on 1/19. His ‘notes’ are now normal. Brouhaha! I’d rather he share his knowledge on stuff that’s outta this world. After all, it’s ‘educational’ and really ‘out there’ – the stuff that resonates unto moi – Evil Kitty.

I bet MOST of the members don’t know or care what’s he talking about. That’s why I’ve been assigned to boost the vector with my singing. Prepare for bleeding ears! I think the Lawd Gawd knows I’m hopeless and he needed me to keep going by torturing me with music. My left ears is hurting from blowouts. I blow my nose too hard by the way and that’s the only way to expell boogers from my sinuses.

So far the boogers have all but disappeared after doing daily saline solution washes with my squeeze bottle. The boogers are highest during October, November, and December. But now I have to treat my earhole with alcohol. Sheesh. Bye for now.


Felinda Ballelos

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