20180205-1252-How To Handle RSVP

20180205-RSVP Declined Bad

Good RSVP – Courtesy Card

This is a personalized way to ensure that the celebrants won’t get hurt feelings – ‘Regretfully Decline’ and to include a 3.40 inch by 4.875 inch blank note card signed, dated, and filled with a congratulations and well wished. That’s what I would recommend to my first cousins (paternal side).

(My Dad included a note to Joylene and Ryan AND money, which they deposited months later – though we said we’d attend but didn’t show up due to hurt feelings by cousin Chil, who continued to hold the grudge that her own FATHER started and snowballed on my family.)*

20180205-RSVP Declined Good

Bad RSVP – Unknown Guest

I ‘know’ this failed RSVP came from particular physician who looked visibly upset the last time we visited him during a follow-up appointment. Mom wouldn’t stop crying in front of him because she was emotionally touched that she survived her TAVR and pacemaker surgeries and wanted to thank him and the other physicians in public during the anniversary celebration.

I’m a first generation spoiled brat like my paternal cousins – born on American soil and raised as Catholics. And so our attitude is to do and learn things rather quickly and move on quickly to the next agenda. But my parents tend stick around and talk longer than necessary without being conscious of when to cut off the conversation. I don’t like to show emotion in public, not unless someone else start crying.

So yeah, my parents are panicking with regards to the RSVP, though our event planner/wedding coordinator said do NOT worry and to follow-up on or about 2/10/2018, when the RSVP is due. This was because they mailed the invitations in two batches – thirty over the Communist’s weekend of MLK, and forty the following Monday! There are still five invitations that needed reprinted.

WTF? I presume that this is to keep my parents within their SMALL budget, which according to the event planner, – is on the LOW-END for a celebration. I understand. So I presume that they are NOT sabotaging the delayed mailings, which had some postage due problems. I presume that this is to ‘flag’ the celebrants that we should have only invited those that have spoken to us in the last two months (per Google lady and her seach engineers online.)*

So we’ve been calling the SVP folks who are kinder and nicer than my first cousins (paternal side), whom I ‘predicted’ will NOT attend. My parents won’t forgive them because we wasted our invitation of gangsters and drug users. But as per the attached images, there are two ways of handling how y’all wish to repsond

Their excuses are the same – babysitting, adult birthdays, and lack of rides.

Below are the details thus far:

Babysitting: Gloria is an elderly grandmother who had to call the mother to pickup her grand-daughter on March 1. The grand-daughter lives with Gloria, who really wants to spend time alone with Gary her American husband. But because the mother has NOTHING to do with the daughter, she has no choice but to be there for her.

Ruchille my first cousin made the excuse that she has to babysit. But Jonathan has parents. I wonder why the parents of Jonathan cannot take care of the two grandchildren. Roderick still doesn’t have the work schedule for March 2018 in Las Vegas, Nevada. I think the hospital has the name of ‘Rose’ but I can’t recall.

Marianne my first cousin made the excuse that she is celebrating the birthday of her husband Marcello on March 10, the same day of the event. Marcello owes us for $1.41 in postage for re-mailing his misdelivered invitation. Also, he works at Yahoo Google.

This same scenario happened to Joylene’s wedding in which Lindsey would celebrate her birthday WITHOUT fail on July 5, that same wedding day! So my own brother failed to inform his cousin Joylene and expected us to decline for them. Do y’all see what I’m saying?

Other elderly folks say they don’t have rides. Okay. There’s always Uber, Lyft, carpooling, and VTA/Bart passes.

*Speaking of grudge, after the 2017 Christmas morning mass, my younger brother hasn’t spoken to us. Lindsey doesn’t speak with us since she was dating and living with Junior before marriage. So I’m NOT surprised if our bloodline holds grudges.

However, I’ve been picking up his telepathic communications, such as: “Mommy, clean my bottom!” That indicates he still wanted to visit us. But I sensed that Mom was being VERY, VERY tough on him. And she confided to me that he won’t ever change and that we no longer have relatives, who care about us – the same sentiment shared by another parishioner. We got stuck with bad luck. Hmm.

I sensed that when my mother passes away, those who have hurt feelings from her hypercritical directness won’t care. I know my Dad would be the most devastated if Mom passed on before he did – as he is an emotional Taurus – though stubborn and NOT willing to spend too much due to struggling to feed his starving siblings back in the Philippines and later his young family when I was born.

But the point is – to respond in a timely manner and to send your prayers, note cards, and donations to the enclosed charity; so that the forthcoming karma will be a return of good luck. Do y’all see what I’m saying? That’s just my recommendation for the Filipinos, especially since we should learn how to properly behave like Americans in American style and on American soil.

My parents would have preferred that y’all be honest if y’all really cannot come and without reason. At least we wouldn’t waste an invitation or think of y’all in the first place since y’all are our relatives, and be left wondering if you received your invitation, or if you will return the RSVP properly like Americans.

Categories: flynnspaws

1 reply

  1. 20180206-2007. Marianne’s Mom didn’t know about the party, which Marianne wrote. She is shocked! But I’m NOT convinced. Either you are with us or not! She won’t stop making a big deal and she is making all sorts of interpretation. Please be careful. I told her that it’s okay because auntie Malou told us! I told her that it’s okay because my cousins have their own appointments, schedules, lifestyles, and problems.

    As long as y’all send your prayers and blessings to the sender via a personalized note, it’s okay. I still love my relatives and cousins. I told her that my cousins are adults and that Marianne has a new baby. The mother said that there is enough parties due to the baby having a party already. I wonder if the mother is controlling the couple.

    Her VERY excitable mother is making a big deal and trying to make us believe her even though we attended her party. I can research on the public forum.

    OMG! She won’t stop covering up for her daughter and she won’t stop laughing out loud and she keeps insisting. I recall that she called the other time of another event. She screamed at my mother and me over the phone and wouldn’t believe me or auntie Malou and she insisted that there is NO party because she is the mother. And that a mother knows everything about Marianne. Or that this particular mother is a known gossiping.

    Please be careful with your facts and check it with each other without sentiments. I know my cousins don’t lie. The adults are just worn down, I guess.


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