Dear diary,

Recently, I’ve been coming to grips and accepting my looks, which is far from being popular. Swollen Kitty thinks I’m nuts.

Well, my gripe tonight (a rhyme which is mine and copyrighted) is that when I apply dark black eyelid makesup, my hooded eyelids do NOT look like Asian, because I have a crease and NOT one of those monolids.

Anyway, I couldn’t find a photo that I had in mind. I never did have the skill to apply makeup and just wash and go – au natural. Nothing like an unmade face to scar off humanz! Eek!

Yeah so that’s my style. And for clothes, I’m recycling Mom’s creation – mostly camp shirts, mostly 100% cotton. I never did learn how to go shopping for clothes and none seems to fit my husky size.

As for shoes and accessories, I cannot mix and match well. My shoe size is HUGE. My feet feel like Hobbits. I limit my shoes to flat and sensible and the only ones that are comfortable are my orthotics and its personalized inserts. Expensive stuff.

For my behavior, it’s bad. I can’t crack a smile and mean it. I can’t crack corn and laugh. I can’t carry a good conversation and resort to monologues. The conversations are stuck in my head and I could hear my voice as if I’m speaking aloud.

Don’t be looking inside my wallet because the stash belongs to my parents, who write checks payable to me as ‘GIFTS’. So hopefully the DHHS won’t come knocking on my door and say: “Hey, you, Flynn! You didn’t report your income!”

I’ll tell them: “Go fruck off yourselves, fools! I barely get by with the help of mommy and daddy!” It’s true. I’m a poor loser – no husband, no children, and dumb witless as a door knob.


Evil Kitty

Categories: flynnspaws

%d bloggers like this: