As I blog privately unto myself, incognito (not really knowing the word definition but that’s the incoming thought), I feel numb. I wanna do stuff and keep up with cleaning. But I’m done thinking to fast and hard, for now at least. Dinner was quick and easy. Preparation is easy – boil in water and then eat. Dad and I don’t prepare meals.
Anyway, we go shopping at our local Costco warehouse. The deal is to pay an annual membership fee of $120.00. But the items are sold in bulk, meant for HUGE families. So the technique is to purchase a HUGE item bag and portion each time for cooking, which is mostly boiling. The products are packaged mostly either in paper or plastic.
Because my understanding of the humanized English language, I am now researching the difference between grief and depression. I see that when one is unable to function normally, then it’s depression. But for the rest of us, it’s grieving.
Now I see the word mourning, which is an outward or public display of grieving, which is internalized as emotion. WTF are these words used in various ways? Anyway, I see that humanz are emotional, an open book of energy.
So yeah, my eyelids are puffy and I’m getting sleepy. I didn’t know crying this much can take away so much of my energy. Blah. Oh, I’m not getting a good enough sleep. Only in the past two days was I able to sleep soundly. But last night I awoke after only four hours of sleep.
I think I may be in pain from old age or that I’m simply so refreshed that I don’t need the extra hours in sleeping. I should then be an entrepreneur and think of projects achieve and other lofty goals to accomplish.
But for now, I’ll end up going back to my local church choir and that other singing gig, where they do go abroad, traveling like a bunch of singing bards, collecting handouts for a ‘good cause’. I think that’s typical of fine arts or not of profit organizations.
Oh for crying out loud! I applied online to a community college yesterday. I need a job! And in order to get a fulfilling job, I thought that maybe I could go back to school and get re-educated and possibly certified. But Dad said that I already graduated and that should be enough.
OMG. I’m going to sleep soon. My eyelids are now shutting. Good night.
Flynn B sleepy.